MurderHobo.club

Something clever goes here.

Author: gravedigger

  • Nacho Quixote

    Complete with a little toy windmill.

    not my idea just something that made me smile

  • 33 M4f – looking for someone who appreciates me.

    I think I’m pretty awesome, but I’m having trouble finding someone who agrees and I have chemistry with. It seems that either we have chemistry and they hate me, or we are fond of each other but it isn’t anything more.

    My fear of being a toxic misogynistic asshole has led to me double thinking my flirting & generally just being too damn disengaged to connect with someone.

    My job keeps me busy til 9 pm on weekdays, so I’ve had trouble meeting people at the casual events.

    Even then, I’ve been involved in BDSM and the local Goth scene for a decade and a half, but I hate dating within the community. The whole scencest dynamic and drama… It doesn’t work for me.

    So I look for someone who suits me in other places. I tend to find people who fit me in random places. IRC channels, MUDs, volunteering, here on reddit, etc. It has been a while since I’ve found anyone, so I’m trying something different.

    I spend too much time online, either on my laptop or my phone. I do far more writing on my phone than I should. Including writing this. Lately I’ve noticed that I don’t really have anyone I’m taking to. It would be nice to have someone to talk to.

    I spend a decent amount of time on my own, mostly listening to podcasts, because listening to people having interesting conversations is my best substitute for having interesting conversations with people. Horror show Hot Dog, Slaughterhouse Princess, the Giant Bombcast, the Dice Tower, the Secret Cabal, Apropos of Nothing, to name a few.

    Oh right, I should focus on the BDSM bits… I am into BDSM because I have a tendency to lead, and that works better in the BDSM community than in the rest of the world, or at least that is my terribly misguided assumption. I also like the clarity that comes from proper negotiations. Oh and I’m a bit of a sadist.

  • Material chained.

    The other day, I cited material possessions as the chains that bind us to our ruts, or at least me to mine. My biggest chain would be my board game collection. It has grown large and menacing over the last few years; were it to pounce on someone, that person would surely be crushed under the weight.

    There is also a smaller collection of books, and some DVDs. The majority of the books have been replaced with ebooks. There area few of sentimental value or that would be a pain to read digitally, but for the most part, they’re not something that would need to travel with me. Same goes for the DVDs. Netflix would cover most of my movie needs.

    Beyond that, a few knickknacks are scattered around, but I’m not sure if any of them hold any real attachment.

    A few pieces of art, I suppose I’d miss those.

    My pile of monkeys and other fuzzy friends. Leaving them would be a bit strange.

    Then there’s the tech, though plenty of it is irrelevant. I’d be happy with a Chromebook for most of my projects.

    A decent gaming PC, it’s an expensive replacement, but doable in time. Especially given how little I actually play games these days.

    I suppose it would make sense to keep a console, but none of them really inspire me to bring them along.

    The 3ds gets packed, I suppose. Its light, has a few games, and doesn’t take up much space.

    The final pieces of tech are the monitors. Expensive, but not really portable. Pretty easy to replace, I suppose.

    Clothing, some costumes, but really not much there that matters. Mostly just t-shirts that I liked. Like my KoL Bonestar shirts.

    Yeah, reflecting on it, the board games are the big obstacle. Though I suspect I could find a good home for them, if I wanted to go traveling.

  • negentropic agent

    For the longest time, I’ve had difficulty in defining what my beliefs in a format that I was able to convey to others. All language is layered with context and nuance, and I found that when I tried to adapt or adopt philosophical terms or concepts as a method of creating a short hand or context for my personal beliefs, I would inadvertently attach some baggage that I hadn’t intended or anticipated. For the while I referred to my belief system as the phrase sentimental nihilism, as it seemed to share some common elements with the nihilistic philosophy, though taken in an unconventional direction, hence the sentimental. While these two terms conveyed the basic concept, they also brought in a certain distrust from people who had had negative experiences with individuals who used their nihilism to excuse character flaws or life choices. There was also a certain misunderstanding of how the term sentimental was being used. I had been using it to refer to the concept sentimental value, something that was often unclear. Tonight, while insomnia prevented my sleeping, I pondered various alternative phrases and one came to mind. I am actively resisting entropic principles. Perhaps I am just resistant to entropy, but that doesn’t quite feel right. It doesn’t encompass the beliefs. The entropic principle is that over time, things age and decay, unless they are maintained. Some would call this opposition to entropy the negentropic agent. Perhaps I am a negentropist.

    Originally written about a year ago, just prior to the creation of this blog, and never imported into it, strangely, unlike other older posts. 

  • triadecimconseco

    triadecimconseco

    To cut into 13 pieces.

    But badly translated and mashed together, implying that the person doesn’t really understand what they’re doing, since they’ve combined greek prefixes with latin phrases. Implying that they have an incomplete and perhaps flawed understanding of the mysticism that they’re trying to invoke.

  • Current status

    Stunning bout of depression/apathy has hit me hard over the weekend.
    I’m suffering from a serious lack of motivation. Partially this is related to my realisation that the rut I’m in is much deeper and harder to get out of than I’d previously understood. It is partially because some aspects of it have been established over the last decade and a half.

    What can be done?
    Untangle the material chains and drag myself out slowly.
    Start burning the chains randomly and hope I survive the fire.

    The two extremes, essentially.

    Neither path appeals currently.

  • The new thing… Vigilante Justice

    The new thing… Vigilante Justice

    So, my sources tell me that a masked vigilante is out there, in the city. Well, that’s nothing new. This one, is perhaps a bit different though. He’s driving an electric car, wearing a wrestling mask, and carrying a sawzall. He’s been seen parking in front of houses that are watering their lawns excessively, in clear violation of the water restrictions. He’ll walk up to the house, turn the tap fully off, and then with his sawzall, he’ll cut the head off the faucet. Then he’ll apply a sticker to the side of the house, before getting back in the car and driving away. The sticker is printed with a copy of the current water restrictions and an oddly deformed smiley face at the bottom.

    Strangely, the rumours about this man differ greatly. Some describe him as 5’5″, blond hair poking out from the mask, chain smoking, while others have described him as 6’6″, a big bear of a man, who drinks from the hose before he shuts it off. One person even stated that she was sure that the vigilante was in fact a woman.

    In any case, my lawn has gone brown and grey, and will stay that way.

  • Characters

    I’m thinking I should put together a page that lists the various characters who appear in this list, separating those who exist from those who don’t and providing as much or as little real world context for them as they feel comfortable with.

    This was motivated by aRedBaroness joining the board games and DerBlob having a handle that I am having a hard time associating with him.

    So, if you want to volunteer your context, let me know.

    Dimestore is our shadowrun GM, a regular board gamer, a scholar and a gentleman.

    John Duggan, when he appears in the blog, is a fictional interpretation of a real person, who I never spend much time with. Less of a scholar, but no less a gentleman than Dimestore, he has serious obligations that tend to interfere with board gaming.

    Reive Doig has been a figure in the Vancouver kink scene for a few decades now. He’s something of a pioneer, with a passion for community building and education. He is part of the team behind Noir and Erotic Vancouver, which I help with. He tends to have too much on his plate at any given time.

    aRedbaroness and I have known each other for years, since I dated one of her friends. While that ended with a bit of a flat note, the friendship has remained. We’ve recently started to collaborate on some projects, as we both have a strong focus on the written word.

    mogdoll, the henchmuffin, is a great minion.

    I’m sure there are more and more details will be added, but this was what came out of my head on the ride to work.

  • Shadowrun returning

    So, it sounds like we’ve for enough players to actually have a Sunday shadowrun start up again. aRedbaroness has an elf adept she’s working on, specialising in some variant of killing hands. DerBlob has a Dr.Nick style streetdoc he’s building. I’m probably doing a face mage again, probably face secondary. Hopefully this time it won’t be a slippery slope into blood magic depravity.

    We played a round of five tribes, and apparently I didn’t explain the game very well, because people were realising midgame some of the rules. But everyone had fun, so that’s not to bad.
    After that, DerBlob and I played a round of Imperial Settlers finally. I now understand why people like that game. The drafting mechanics, the tableau building, the choice to convert a card directly into resources, and the empire building. Over a period of 5 turns, making a game session less than an hour. Definitely one I’ll want to play again, now that we have the hang out it.

    Didn’t get a chance to play Spyfall or Dead of Winter, though Spyfall is now prepped for next time. Well, partially. We’ve decided to upgrade it with manilla envelopes for all the mission sets.

  • Social Media Pattern Extraction.

    This morning, twitter once again suggested I follow a person who I dislike. While I haven’t seen any direct evidence that this individual is abusive and violates boundaries, I’ve seen plenty of secondary evidence, including accounts from individuals. It bothers me that because this individual has friends in common with me on twitter, or has some sort of social media profile similar to my own, twitter thinks I should connect with them.

    Then I started pondering something that was said the other day on a podcast, regarding Klout Score. IIRC, it was the Giant Beastcast, talking about hotel room upgrades based on Klout score, after a conversation about Uber drivers and their ratings systems. I sent them a tweet, suggesting that they read Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, by Cory Doctorow.  I know I’ve mentioned in my past writings about this book, and about the Whuffie system, a social currency that we seem to be drifting ever closer to. I wondered if there was a social media pattern to abusers that could be detected.

    In the past I’ve stated that looking at someone’s fetlife friend’s list can provide you with some potential insight into their social position, intentions and perhaps even their character. I’ve stated that I tend to distrust people who have friends that fall entirely into one category, especially if the cruder among us would describe that category as “prey”. If I were better at extracting and processing data, or programming, I’d attempt to see if there was a pattern recognition system that could be developed, to provide some sort of background alarm for this sort of thing. Sadly, the only person I know who was working on this sort of thing has a tendency to alienating people and making their work unpalatable to others.  (LS – DAUR)

    In other news, I have started playing Ingress again. The weather is nice, so I’ll be other there walking about more.

  • Wandering homeward

    Left work more than half an hour late, after a long call with a customer who couldn’t accept that his issue was not really something we could support. DNS issues, and he can’t log into his router to change the DNS. And he’s managed to wipe the settings from his ata (analog telephone adaptor), which can easily be set up, if you can receive email, which he also can’t, though he denies this. The computer and phone didn’t ding, so he hasn’t received any email. Even though both are connecting through his router, which currently isn’t functional. Hmmm, possible connection? Eventually, he gave up.
    And then I left. Wandered homeward. Well, vaguely. I decided to go elsewhere first, to get my mail.
    4 kms, to there. Then another few kms, depending on my route. Eventually home.

  • tech woes

    I haven’t been writing much lately, partially because I had a major technological failure the other day and managed to have both my Nexus 5 and my 14″ chromebook cease functioning.

    My ancient macbook doesn’t really have the battery to be of much use as a writing tool, if it isn’t plugged in someplace. My desktop is an option, but the chair in front of it doesn’t seem conductive to great writing.

    The backup cellphone, currently can’t log into wordpress, as it lacks NFC, so my security protocols won’t let it on. I could bypass that, but I haven’t really felt it was worth the effort.

    I keep thinking about replacing my chromebook, but I can’t decide on a particular flavor, and I keep hearing that the new specs in the fall will be worth waiting for. Though with a chromebook, the specs aren’t overly relevant.

    I liked the 14″, but it was a bit big, even if it was lightweight. I could go with a 11″, but will the keyboard be wide enough? My hands are rather large.

    My specs are pretty simple. Lightweight, comfortable keyboard, long battery life. Screen quality doesn’t matter much, processor isn’t a big deal; overall, cheaper tends to be better.

  • Security Implementation

    Yubikey and LastPass, are a pair of services that I use for storing my passwords and personal data. The Yubikey functions as an authentication token for the LastPass login, and is used to decrypt the password vault.

    In theory, I should consider a service where the passwords aren’t stored on their cloud, even in an encrypted format. However, I like LastPass, and I like their software. I like that their password validator seems to actually give accurate ratings to the various passwords in the vault during their security check function. Some sites will fail simple passwords that actually are very hard to crack, simply because they don’t fit a scheme. The fact that the tool also monitors for duplicate passwords and sites whose passwords have been compromised; and then request that you change those, also really handy.

    The Yubikey is a little plastic dongle that plugs into your USB drive and acts as USB keyboard, typing out a One Time Password (OTP) as if you’d typed it into the keyboard directly. The chip on the Yubikey is set up to do a few fancy things to ensure that the password is hard to spoof.

    There are some potential problems with any password scheme, especially the sort where there is a single point of failure. Using the Yubikey to generate the OTP for the LastPass in theory, makes it much more secure, since in order to access your Password Vault, they require both the digital key and the physical key. So, that’s what I had been using for my personal passwords for the last year, but I hadn’t been able to convince too many other people to switch over, until recently.

    When I first got my Chromebook, I was slightly annoyed that there wasn’t a way to use the Yubikey to log into it. Then, by accident, the other day, I found out how to manage that. The Yubikey configuration tool has the ability to set up what is stored in the two slots on the Yubikey. In the main slot, is the OTP, for doing the main login. In the second slot, a variety of different configurations could be set up. The only option that made sense for my purposes is the Static Keystring.

    By storing a preset keystring of up to 38 characters that will be typed in whenever I activate the second slot on the key, I have a password that I can use to log into offline devices. The activation of the secondary slot is simply holding down the button on the yubikey, rather than tapping it.  I can use this preset key to log into a secondary gmail account, which logs me into the chromebook. Once inside that gmail account, I can log into the lastpass browser plugin, verifying with slot 1 on the yubikey, and open up my gmail account. This whole sequence can be done fairly quickly, especially if the lastpass browser plugin has been told to save the master password, so the login sequence becomes essentially boot computer, long press on the key, wait for the screen for the Yubikey OTP, short press, and you’re logged in. That system, as long as you aren’t worried about losing the key, is actually pretty secure. It does have a few obvious flaws.

    Though, with a few minor alterations, can be made considerably more secure.

    The first main flaw, is that with the key and the knowledge, anyone can get in. Convenience has compromised the security. The single press a button bypasses the first login, and the second login is saved, the third login is just another button press.

    So, what’s the easy way to fix that? Pad the static keystring. Have a few characters that need to be typed in manually, before you press the button. That means even with the key, they’ll still need to guess that initial password, before it’ll let them in.

    This actually also helps with the second flaw, which is that since the static keystring is static and emitted whenever the button is pressed to activate that slot, it’s easy to steal. That’s why I’m not using it on my main gmail, but on a secondary gmail that really only exists so that it grabs a copy of the LastPass browser plugin from the chrome store when I log on.

    Beyond that, I’m sure there are plenty of other flaws, but these are the ones I’ve discovered so far. And since my google account has other forms of verification on it, specifically the whole two-factor authentication whenever you log in from a new device, I’m not currently concerned.

    I know someone could compromise my security, if they had reason to, but for the moment, I doubt there are any with the skills, malicious intent, and motivation. I am sure there are some with two of the three, but I can’t think of anyone with all three; most would only have but one.

  • Design – Combined SoaC + VPN as a secure thin client.

    Earlier tonight, while discussing ideas for potential new products, I think we accidentally stumbled onto something big. Something that could be worth building. Something that could actually be worth putting together a kickstarter / indiegogo campaign for. Something that is keeping me awake, so I’m going to type it and hope that clears my head.

    A piece of modular hardware, built on a combination of open source software and proprietary hardware, creating something that is both extremely flexible and extremely secure.

    The basic concept is an office-in-a-box, a thin client based set-top box/system on a chip, with  an attached hardware VPN router. This little box plugs into any HDMI based TV, accepts standard Bluetooth & USB interface devices, and has an onboard ethernet & wifi network card. Similar in function to the Apple TV, Chromecast, Steam PCs and various other set-top boxes, this one is designed to function as an office. It connects to available Wifi or Ethernet, opens a VPN connection to either the main server or to your own personal server, and then loads the thin client interface, which is basically a preconfigured (but easily modified) software package. Something similar in nature to Google’s Docs/Sheets/Drive/Calendar/Etc or Amazon’s cloud Workspaces, or Microsoft’s Office 365. One major function that I think would be worth adding would be a dedicated SIP client. SIP clients are used for phone calls, and ideally this one would be combined with a virtual PBX. When the box is active with a solid connection, you’d show up as a valid extension to be called. When it was on a bad connection, you’d show up as being only available for Voice/Text Messaging, and when you were offline, you’d be available for forwarded calls.

    Beyond the basic idea, we’ve come up with a few ideas for building this and making it workable. The protoype SOAC would be put together on a Raspberry PI for the full box version and a Chromebook for the Laptop Variant. The basic operating system would be open source, for flexibility, probably working with Open Office and Asterisk for the basic functionality. Given that it would be web based, there would be the option to access web-based services like the Google, Amazon and Microsoft cloud services. However, that would be at the discretion of the user.

    The VPN could be done in a few different ways, currently I’m thinking a customized firmware on a Mikrotik routerboard. I’m also thinking it would be nice to have an OTP solution integrated into it, something that supports FIDO U2F.

    One of the biggest selling points of this device would be that when the customer was using the provided office software, their data would only be travelling through the VPN between their virtual office and the server at the other end, be it their own, or one that we’ve set up. In the case of ones that we’ve set up we’d nationalize the server for the client.

    In our case, given that we’re Canadian, we’d have our servers here in Canada. In theory, this means that the data would be kept within the country for legal reasons. For professionals who have legal reasons for their offices to remain within their own country, this would be an obvious advantage over other cloud services.

    Given that the VPN is already encrypting all data passing through it, all calls made using the phone system would also be encrypted. For customers who have two of our boxes, the entire call would be handled within the internal network and thus be very difficult to intercept. For calls outside the network, they’d be able to be intercepted at the point where the server connects to the normal phone system.

    Given that we are in the age of 3D printers and rapid prototyping, I see no reason we couldn’t develop multiple variants of the basic box for different client needs. The two basic versions are a set top box and a dongle that plugs into a netbook. It would be easy to develop additional versions based on the needs of the customer.

    Given the range of configurations that are already possible using Raspberry Pi, such as the version with the 3.8″ touchscreen, I can even see a variant of this box that functions as the modern equivalent of a pager. Running on battery power and a WiFi/cellular connection, it would alert on you the touchscreen if someone wanted to reach you. You’d be able to tap them a quick message, and then if need be, plug it into your monitor and switch to full office mode in a matter of moments.

    Given that it’s a set-top box, it could also be configured as a media centre, with the added functionality of letting you know when something had happened that you needed to be aware of. Watching Netflix while waiting for an email, the box pops up a window letting you know that a message or call has come in, and then you decide if you want to switch modes.

    On some level, there isn’t really much that is revolutionary about this idea, it’s simply evolutionary. Combining good ideas in new ways, building something that has functions that you want.

    Still, I think it’s an idea worth exploring, and I think I need to reach out to some of the people I know to put this idea together. I think together, we could put together a nice little crowdfunding campaign and build a product that people will really appreciate. And right now, that’s what people seem to be doing. So why not us?

     

    Open Source software allows us to adapt to your needs in the most cost effective manner. Proprietary security software and hardware keeps our systems, and your data, secure.

  • Netflix algorithm

    So, people claim that Netflix have stated that they generated the House of Cards based the fact that they saw a solid intersection between people who liked Kevin Spacey and people who enjoyed watching political thrillers. And they’re using this to generate other shows.

    This gives me two thoughts, the first being, we need to watch more geek shows on Netflix, rather than pirating them. This will encourage more content we enjoy being added to Netflix.

    The second thought, is wondering if it’s possible to manipulate these algorithms. Some nefarious individuals could construct a little program that used various methods to poll Netflix looking for specific shows, in order to encourage Netflix to generate new content according to specific criteria. Said program could then be spread across the internet, covertly.

    The possibilities. Just no Armoured Penguins, please.

  • time of long shadows

    Recently, I began taking steps to change some things in my life. It’s unclear what all I plan to change, but I believe that I’d like to have more options. One way to get those options is to remove the obligations I’ve got. So I began searching for someone who could pick up the slack, if I decided to retreat into the shadows.

    I’ve done the front and centre thing, and at some point in the last few years, when I reflected on how I was coming across, I decided to tone things down a bit, and that’s resulted in my coming across more serious. Beyond that, I’ve also become less likely to connect with people. I’m not entirely sure of the source, but I seem to be far more reserved in some respects than I was in the past.

    In any case, when I’ve said I’m going to fade into the shadows, I don’t mean I’m going cross the eternal veil, I mean something far more mundane. There has been some concern over my mental health, and as far as I can tell, my mental state is functional but drained. I need to find more things that envigorate me, though I’ve no clear idea how to do that.

    I suppose the writing helps sometimes, as I go from being distracted and unfocused to a state of sharpness. Though that state is still lacking something.

    I know many people have turned to music for this envigoration. Hell, there’s even a playlist function for it on many of the streaming services. The problem is I find music hard to engage with. In many cases, the songs are about something I can’t relate to.

    Currently, I’m listening to Repo, the Genetic Opera. It has a certain intensity to it; something I can’t put into words. Other pieces I enjoy are of a similar genre. Reefer Madness, Jesus Christ Superstar, even Wicked.

    I’ve gone far afield. I meant to say, I plan to change my life, not to end it. I might wander off in a different direction, but I don’t plan on closing any doors or burning any bridges. I tend to save the burning for those who’ve earned it, and it’s usually my preference to let them light their own pyres.

  • Doomtown!

    Saturday Afternoon, I headed over to Magic Stronghold, to check out the new Doomtown : Reloaded Organized play sessions.

    I was late, because of the events of the night before, and the extended period of taking care of Nikita and Guinness, over at my parent’s place. And the transit problems created by Hat’s Off Day, and the related road closures.

    Had I had more sleep, and had more time to properly rebuild my decks, I’d have enjoyed the game more. The deck I built, terrible design. Not enough starting influence. Maybe I should use other people’s deck designs off Doomtown DB, until I get better at it.

    That’s the big stalling point of Doomtown, the deck construction is just a little too heavy, when compared to every other game out there. Balancing the deck structure and the draw structure, balancing influence and bullets. Being sure to have enough starting influence and enough money to keep working on the game. It’s tricky.

    Again, I recommend watching Willingdone’s videos.

    The hosts was a friendly guy, I’ve proposed we do another game in a couple weeks, and hopefully that’ll get things ready for the tournament he wants to run next month. Hopefully that gives me time to get a decent deck built. Still, $5 entry fee, so no big deal if my deck isn’t strong.

  • Summoning

    There was trouble nearby, so I went to save the day.

    Summoned by the cries of a damsel in distress.

    An outcast, who has been banned from a few events, is being creeperly to a newbie. And someone who I’d brought the hammer down on, called me for backup, mostly subconsciously.

    I’d been in bed, reading, getting ready to sleep, but duty calls. So, I get up, throw my clothing back on and I’m out the door.

    I get there, and I take up a position to keep an eye on things, and check in with the girl who summoned me. She provides details while we observe.

    No negotiations, hardly any discussions… It is not a good start.

    His technique is … Just sad.
    The need for control is there. Too desperate, too needy.

    The newbie seems into it, her more experienced friend seems concerned.

    Roughly an hour passes, and #translack has ceased being an option. I tell the friend that it’s time head out, and this manages to get the newbie ready to go.

    We head out the back way, walk north to the Co-op car. Along the way, the two of them talk, and the newbie’s attitude quickly changes. She goes from being happy with the activity to regretting it. How much of that is caused by her friend’s disapproval is unclear, how much is caused from coming out of the scene, who knows. It reminds me that there are too many possibilities.

    On one hand, this fellow has been banned from a couple of events; on the other hand, I’ve said a few times that I distrust promoters because there are several of them who I don’t think would be welcome at events, unless they were running their own event. It’s a complicated subject.

    Either way, it’s a 20 minute drive to get them back someplace safe, then another 30 back to my place.

    An hour driving, an hour at the thing. At least two hours past when I’d planned to sleep.

    Why do I do these things? What part of me is broken so I’m compelled to do so?

     

  • Odd Thomas (The book and the Movie)

    This morning, I finished reading the novel Odd Thomas. I’d previously seen the movie, and like Horns, John Dies at the End, and pretty much every other movie that comes from a book, I’ve heard the book was better. Since I’d bought myself a kobo the other day, I’d loaded Odd Thomas onto it, and read it over the last few days. This is my thoughts, on both the book and the movie.

    If you haven’t seen the movie, I’d probably suggest that you see it. If you’ve got the patience for it, I think you might want to read the book first.

    It’s hard to write about this story without spoiling it, but I’ll give it a shot. The book is quite self aware, just a little bit more so than the movie. The main character has an Odd name, an odd life, and this is something of his origin story. Given that there’s 7 other books in the series, I think that’s a good thing. The character, while perhaps not overly easy to relate to, comes across as a good person. Flawed, as we all are, but with good intentions.

    The plot, the twists his life takes, the place where it takes place, have a similar quality. You can’t quite relate to it, but you can appreciate it. Where he lives, and how it feels is actually tied into the plot, which is something I appreciated.

    This is the end of the spoiler free section. I’d not bother reading below this line, until you’ve either read the book or seen the movie.

     

    Yes. I know there’s nothing here. I don’t trust you. Go read the damn book first. Or watch it on Netflix at least.

  • Recipe for disaster?

    Minimal Sleep, Bad Dreams, and possible neuro-chemical shifts.

    There is a small chance that today might be my last day at my current job. It’s actually probably vanishingly small, but right now the little voice in the back of my head that warns me about such things won’t let me forget it. (No, I don’t mean I hear voices, I mean I have a recurring doubt. Excuse the turn of phrase/hyperbole.)

    Anyone close to me knows that I’ve got a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication, something I’ve been taking for a while, to help deal with certain things in my life that I’ve had to accept that I can’t change. I could get into them, but right now, they aren’t overly relevant to the matter at hand.

    They were costing me around $300 a year, because of my medical deductible. My family doctor, being aware of this, recently switched me to a different medication. I’m not entirely sure this was the right idea. I’d been offered to switch over to the generic, which would have saved me a fair bit of money, but instead I switched to something else. In the same family apparently. In theory, I should have done more research before consenting to this switch. I should have at least asked a few people I know who’ve done some reading. I didn’t bother though. A few weeks back, my supply of the generic had been used up and so I started on the new stuff. I’m not sure if there are any practical differences, or if I’m just being paranoid if there might be. Either way, that’s one ingredient in this recipe. The possibility of neuro-chemical change, and the associated Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

    Next we have the dreams. I dreamed that I was going to a conference on sexuality, with a pass provided to me by Reive. He’d given me one of the ordinary guest passes to get past the door. This is in fact pretty standard, when I’m volunteering, I don’t usually bother getting the volunteer ID. And in the past, this hasn’t been a problem. Usually the fact that I’m pulling my weight means that security, venue staff and other attendees understand that we aren’t bothering with the formalities, that there is an “arrangement” or an “understanding”, there just isn’t paperwork for it, because there usually isn’t a reason for it. In the dream, I was feeling pretty alienated, partially because I was being treated as one of the gawking rubes, or as a wannabee, rather than someone who’d been part of things. Partially, this relates to my own fears of alienation and exclusion, and partially this is something that I’ve seen happen. And partially this is my ego and my vanity, seeing myself as a part of something when I’m probably not all that vital to the enterprise.

    In the dream, when security had “stamped” me, they’d included notes that I was a security risk. In the dream, it had been done with yellow highlighter that was visible under the black light, and somehow I hadn’t noticed. When I’d been trying to catch up with people I’d dealt with in the past, either security would check the notes and bar me access, or I’d get blown off. When trying to network with new people, similar things. I caught on eventually and was in the process of trying to find Reive to get the matter sorted out when I woke up.

    I woke up about an hour before my usual alarm time. I’d fallen asleep roughly 4-6 hours after my usual bed time. I’ve had about 3-5 hours of sleep, and I suspect I’m probably going to be in that state that I’ve come to refer to as sleep depraved. It’s a higher energy, highly impulsive state. Not really a good state for a call centre job, though it’s served me well in certain tasks in the past. How long I’ll be able to maintain functionality, I’m not sure.

    It would probably be wisest for me to call in sick today, except I don’t feel that that is an option. There isn’t really anyone able to cover for me at work, not without someone taking on a fair amount of overtime. Like 5-8 hours worth. A few weeks back, after I’d had a cavity filled, I’d taken the night off, as I’d been unable to talk for a bit and then more pain than I’d expected. I probably could have worked part of the shift, but didn’t. I feel guilty about that.

    So, that’s the recipe. Combine it with the events that I obliquely referenced yesterday, and you’ve got something interesting. Something the voice in the back of my head is telling me might be a disaster. Maybe that’s just pessimism. Maybe it’s fatalism. Maybe it’s my fear of failure motivating me to turn possible failure into a disaster, as a form of ego defense. I’m not really sure.

    And I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it, beyond a cup of coffee and a hot shower.

    24 hours later, I’m considering whether or not to post this. After I wrote it up initially, I hit the draft button, so I’d be able to post it later, after I’d reviewed it, as I wasn’t sure I trusted my judgement at the time.

    In fact, that’s a big part of my concerns, is that I constantly question my judgement. Part of this is being aware of consent culture and how some of the assumptions that have developed are toxic and dangerous. Part of it is probably just paranoia, though the difference between paranoia and situational awareness is a debate for another day.

    As it stands right now, I survived the day, didn’t get into any conflicts, managed to function reasonably well, and I am feeling much more functional today.

    With regards to posting this, on one hand, there is information in this post that could be used as ammunition against me, such as my mental health status, and some would say it’s foolish to post such things in a place where people can easily acquire it to use it against you. On the other hand, I don’t think there is really anything here that would surprise anyone who knows me, so I don’t really see a reason not to post it. At the very least, I can at least claim the virtue of honesty in this case.

  • Seeds of distrust

    I have trouble dealing with passive aggressive or deceptive individuals. If I get told something second hand, whether or not I accept it as the truth depends on various factors, but if I find out that it was manipulation, and someone attempts the same play again, it’ll irk me. In theory it should anger me, but it doesn’t.

    It instead creates a certain comfort; establishing a pattern. And since they’ve established a pattern; they’ve given me something I could use against them, should things escalate to that level. It then becomes a question of what response is appropriate. In many cases, while there is a temptation for confrontation, it is wiser to consider the how to diffuse the impact of the their manipulation, or to fold that energy back into a new direction.

    If they’ve lied to you, they’ve lied to others; a subtle knowing word, something that’ll speed up their understanding of the situation, without tipping your hand too much. That seems a wise course of action.

    If the lie has created friction with others, as it did in the original example that I am deconstructing, then the obvious first step is to accept your failure, admit your foolishness, and offer apology to those who were on the wrong side of your misguided actions.

    For many, that step is a difficult one, but it is an important one. You have to admit and acknowledge the problems your actions created, without passing the blame back to the original source of the mistake. You can acknowledge that you were mislead, but you must own your actions. After that, reparations, repairs, and generally learning from it.

    At that point, you have earned the ability to be honest with others about the manipulation, and in so doing, create exposure for the deceiver. This must be done in the right manner, as done wrong it will harm you more than the one who misled you.

    While there is always the option of confrontation to bring about change, through conflict, rendering your adversary impotent is often wiser.

    In some cases, when the person has established themselves, or has established a cult of personality, this can be difficult, and perhaps nigh impossible. Still, patience and solidity should endure over the slippery tongue.

  • Advice on ants

    A dying man once told me that time was like a river of angry ants, devouring our flesh and pressing ever onward, down a path we can’t accurately predict, leaving a clear swath behind them.

    While most of you can accept that part, it was the rest of it you’d have trouble with.

    It’s when you start playing with time travel that the similarities really stick out. Just like with the ants, you can try to change the flow, but they just continue to climb over whatever you toss in. Sure, with a large enough obstruction, you might cause some of them to route around, but in the end, they’ll reconnect with the mass.

    It really doesn’t matter what you throw at them, they’ll continue to move forward, endlessly.

    His final warning was to avoid anything that might create one of those damn ant balls. I can only guess he meant a time loop.

    Of course, given that he was me, I’m pretty sure he knew his advice was likely to be passed down ineffectually when I became him, watching me fail to understand the lessons that we shared.

  • Books I’ve read recently. 1/X

    As I mentioned the other day, I picked up an ereader, with the intention of reading more. I’ve had it for a weekend and a bit, and in that time I’ve read two and a half books. I read the Dresden novel skin games, the first novel in a different urban fantasy series, the Iron Druid, and about half of the Odd Thomas book, which I’ll probably finish today.

    So far, Odd Thomas is very much like the movie, and I’d enjoyed the movie. I’m looking forward to the other books in the series.

    The Iron Druid book has a similar flavour to Dresden, and I’d recommend it to fans of that series. It has some genuinely funny bits and a pretty interesting magic system.

    Skin Games, I’m surprised I hadn’t read earlier, when it first came out. Simply out, it really reminded me of why I enjoyed the Dresden novels, and was perhaps my favourite since Dead Beat.

    I’ll probably toss up another quick article like this in a week or two.

  • Our Karma Distribution System

    A while back, we decided that we wanted to figure out a way to make the karma system more interactive and more real time. We took the concept of bennies from either Dresden/Fate or Savage World, and brought it into our Shadowrun 4th Edition game. Players were given a handful of Poker chips that had their initial scribbled on it. Originally it was one chip for each player, but we later raised that amount to be one or two above the number of players. The GM took a handful of red and blue poker chips. The white ones with the player’s initial on it was worth .5 Karma when received from another player. The Blue ones were worth a full Karma, and the red ones were given out to mark a problem or debt that the player had picked up during the session; to remind the GM and the players that there was a shoe that was yet to drop.

    During the course of the game, if someone did something cool, you’d throw them one of your chips. If they took one for the team, or had the right skills at the right time, or any of the other things that the GM might have awarded the end of session, that was a reason to throw them karma. Also, if they did something you thought was worth rewarding, if they exhibited behavior you’d like to see again, you threw them a chip. A particularly cunning plan, or a great joke, a quick recovery when something went wrong; all good reasons to toss a chip over.

    The GM still tosses out the occasional bit of Karma from time to time, for things he thinks should be rewarded, and there’s still the end of mission Karma for obstacles faced and challenges overcome. In the long run, this won’t be more karma than the players would receive, but because it’s more tied to specific events, it tends to encourage better play.

    Anyways, that’s our system, and I think it’s one you might like.

  • The arcology podcast

    Dimestore and I should record some segments for the arcology podcast. We live lives too chaotic for regular podcasts, so this would be a way to test out some of the basics, and its on a topic we can spend hours discussing.

    Shadowrun.

  • Goodreads and an ereader.

    So, the other day, I decided to buy myself an e-reader. After considering a few options, I decided on a kobo. Figured I should go with the Canadian option, with all things being equal.

    I like the way it displays text, and I’m pretty happy with how easy it is to load books onto it, when it’s plugged in. I’ve yet to get the wireless remote loading functionality working, at least for books I’ve not bought through the kobo store.

    Book prices seem a bit high, but that’s probably because I figure books should be slightly cheaper without the whole printing process. That’s probably a different discussion though.

    I’ve opened up an account on goodreads, to try to track things a bit better and get some better recommendations.

  • Tales from Tech Support…

    A few years back, I was working for staffing company, on loan to a large company, in a division that provided technical support for their point of sale devices, which were installed at retail locations. The division I was in was entirely POS support, specifically for this particular retail chain.

    The company had some odd policies, and seemed to believe that their reputation and the chance to be convert from a contact employee into a staffer was all the incentive required to ensure productivity. The conversion rate was something like 1% per year, so I didn’t exactly agree, and I’m fairly sure I wasn’t alone in that. You have a few who wanted to chase that dream, but most of my coworkers were pretty slack.

    I’m an ex security goon, and so I’ve got certain expectations of right and wrong. When I was on a call with one of the employees at the retail store, and I overheard him talking to his buddy about how the manager had left the computer unlocked and they could see all the rates, I passed that information along to my supervisors. Maybe that’s a dick move, but if you’re going to do something like that, don’t talk about it while you’ve got an open phone line that is being recorded.

    So, I was the only guy there who had a kill count. (Employee terminated as a result of your actions.) I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. This relates to the story, because my third kill, was embezzlement and included jail time.

    There was an LPO officer from one of the stores who called in a few times, and we developed a bit of rapport. I liked the guy, so when he called in with a strange issue and a gut feeling, I took it seriously.

    He’d had one of his employees comment to him offhandedly that a customer had purchased a TV with a $1000 gift card earlier than day, and he wanted me to check on the providence of the gift card.

    So I logged into our interface, confirmed the balance had been a grand, and then decided to dig a bit deeper. It was 7pm on a Sunday night, and my supervisor had gone home at 6pm. I gave him a quick ping on his company issued texting account, and then a call on his cell, but he wasn’t picking up. I checked our “manual”, and there was nothing in it that would really qualify. So I took the initiative and decided to see what I could figure out.

    I put in a query to our backend team, and got them to provide me with some logs from the terminals. Together, we managed to piece the plot together. An employee had found that there was a way to generate gift cards on an account that was set up for converting grandfathered rewards programs into the new program. In theory, it had been taken offline, but it still existed in the system, and he’d found it and decided to create a few gift cards using it. He’d created a small gift card, less than a $100 and tried it out. A few weeks later, he’d created a larger one. A bit after that, he’d created several more gift cards. After that, he’d started selling the gift cards.

    All told, he’d generated about 34k worth of gift cards, and about $1200 had been used before it had been brought to my attention. I’d locked down the account, preventing the remaining 32k from being used.

    A week or two later, I heard back from the LPO. The employee who’d accepted the $1000 gift card had been given a 3K bonus, 10% of the embezzled funds that we’d recovered. The LPO seemed rather upset about that, since he felt that I was the one who deserved the 3K, since I’d done the actual work in catching the guy, and the guy who’d received the money hadn’t done a damn thing. But, since I didn’t work for the retail chain and the LPO was expected to recover the stolen funds, we weren’t eligible.

    Therefore, it went to the guy who’d promoted the investigation, even if he’d just been laughing about how weird it was and the LPO had overheard him. Still, the LPO thought I’d done a great job and offered me a job, if I’d come work for him. I’d declined, since he was someplace down in the states, and I was a Canadian.

    He also let me know that he’d verified which employee had done it, the guy had been fired, and he was recommending that the company press charges.

    About a week later, I got let go. I was told I wasn’t Big Company Name material. I was told by the buddy who’d got me the job that I’d stepped on some toes by solving the problem the way I did. Not only had I let the LPO know about the hole in the system I’d found, but I’d also gotten the issue resolved, rather than letting a team from higher up handle it, at their billable hourly rate.

    But hey, I’d had no supervisor, nothing in the manuals about it, so I did my best, and I guess I went too far.

  • Doomtown : Reload… I want to play it.

    I really wish there was a local Doomtown league, though if there was, it would probably be happening on nights when I can’t make it out. Maybe I’ll see if I can organize something for Sunday Evenings.

    Conceptually, I like Doomtown. You’ve got a posse, you’re developing a town, setting up businesses, taking over businesses owned by other players, getting a bounty on your head in the process, and sometimes, you’re having shootouts. Shootouts, which are done by drawing a poker hand, with your specific dudes effecting how many cards you draw or replace. Highest hand wins, and the difference between the hands determines how many casualties are caused. And you can decide how those causalities play out, whether they’re spread out as minor wounds amongst your guys, or whether someone gets sent to Boot Hill.

    The biggest problem with Doomtown is the deckbuilding. It’s complicated. It is a bit hard to wrap your head around. Willingdone, who does Netrunner and Doomtown card reviews, made a great intro video for it, so I’ll link that here. Watch it, it’s interesting.

  • Planning to see some movies.

    So, in the next week, I think I’ll go see Mad Max : Fury Road and Avengers : Age of Ultron. I’m wondering if it’s worth attempting to write reviews of these, given that at this point, most people have already made up their minds about them.

    It would also be nice to get some company to the movies, but I don’t really know any night owls anymore.

  • Some gaming, finally.

    Over the weekend, Dimestore, Thike and I got together for some gaming. We had a game of Legendary Encounters Alien, where we won for a change. This was likely because Dimestore was playing the commander role and his main move was to collect up all the sergeants, allowing him to grant us an extra 2 purchase credits during our turns, or giving me an extra two damage when I was using the mercenary. It was definitely much easier than in the two player games.

    I think it was also less fun for me, as I was playing as the mercenary, and most of the time I’d sacrifice my purchasing power to be able to damage the aliens that were coming at us. I almost never purchased anything good for my deck, and it was definitely something I noticed. The deck felt weak, or perhaps lacking in development. It felt like I wasn’t seeing any cards other than my basic starters, with the exception of one coordinate card I’d picked up. I think that’s a weakness of the mercenary role.

    Legendary is a decent co-op game, and I’m going to enjoy playing more of it.

    We’d intended to play Doomtown, but didn’t have decks built for it.

     

  • Do I have a face for podcasts?

    image

    Debating if I should learn podcasting vs youtubing, figured I’d ask the obvious question. Is it preferable to hear my voice over seeing me?

  • Podcasts I listen to.

    This will probably get converted from a post into a page, to make it easier to reference, but I was checking reddit today and was reminded of a podcast I’d listened to but I’d lost when I’d swapped phones. So, this will be a list of podcasts I recommend, which can also double as an easy place to reload my podcasts if I swap phones again.

    Giantbombcast.  – Solid Video Game discussion with a mix of interesting personalities and digressions.

    Stop Podcasting Yourself – Vancouver-based comedy podcast, with Overheards, material taken out of context.

    Video Games Hot Dog – A great video games discussion podcast

    Horror Show Hot Dog – Horror movie discussion podcast. Love the cast.

    Slaughterhouse Princess – another horror show podcast. Moderately crazy. Mostly talk with them via their facebook.

    Kingdom of Loathing Podcast – Where the guys from Video Games Hot Dog came from, fairly interesting, some material is only relevant if you play the game.

    Welcome to Nightvale – Surreal community public radio from the desert.

    Idle Thumbs – Video games discussion.

    Shut Up and Sit Down – British board games podcast.

    The Secret Cabal – Board games discussion.

    Blue Peg, Pink Peg – Board games discussion, focus on gaming in regards to relationships.

    Cardboard! – Board Games discussion.

    Terminal 7 – Netrunner Discussion.

    The Dice Tower – Board games discussion. – see also, Dice Tower Network.

    Low Player Count – Board games discussion with a focus on smaller groups.

    Critical Glitch – Shadowrun podcast, with a focus on teaching and public gaming.

    The Arcology Podcast – Shadowrun podcast, focus on 5th Edition, and some recorded play sessions.

    Harmontown – Only recently added to the roster. The brains behind Community, and they do some live Shadowrun, so it’ll likely stick around.

    8-4 Play – Video games podcast, focus on Japanese gaming.

    There are probably some that I’m missing, as I lost a bunch when I swapped phones recently after my nexus 5 required an RMA. For whatever reason my backup didn’t preserve the podcast software’s subscription file.

  • Future Projects

    I’m debating making changes to this site, for the purposes of making it more functional. One of the major changes I’m thinking of putting together a link to some of the content I’m more fond of, either as a header or a sidebar. I might also add in a function to sort by category easier. I’m not sure how many people interact with my site, so I’m not sure how much work I should put into making it easier to interact with.

    I’m also considering learning how to do some basic audio/video production, and potentially putting together a podcast/youtube channel. I think I’d need  co-host/cohort, I’m not sure who I know who has the time.

    I’m also thinking of working on more written articles, but the big limitation on that is that I tend to get a bit demoralized when I’m not getting much in the way of feedback on the stuff I’m working on. It’s a difficult balance, because too much feedback can be as bad as too little, since it can make me self-conscious about what I’m working on.

  • Mayday…

    So, the last while… things have happened. Nothing major, beyond Gram coming back to the house for at least one night, and maybe more. That’ll be a bit different. I suspect I’ll stress in the evenings for a bit, til I get used to her being back here. Mostly just not sure she wants to be alone for that long. Though I know she’s got plenty of friends who will come over and visit, if she lets them know she wants company. For now, I think she’ll want just piece and quiet.

    I ended up getting some new hardware, a spare tower from Chris at work, which I’ve yet to actually move components over into. That’s a project I should have worked on today, but I didn’t. Instead I built another website. My third or fourth this week. Though really they’re just wordpress installs that I’m setting up with some minor bits and bobs, and are fairly barebones at the moment.

    One of them I set up for my friend Kylie, as a birthday present. I bought her a .ninja domain. I’ve still got a few things to do to get that up 100%, but for now, it’s a start. When she has finished celebrating her birthday, we’ll actually get all the functionality working. aredbaroness.ninja, for the curious.

    Today, while having coffee with Julia, and telling her about the site I built for Kylie, we decided to build her a site, so we built juliarants.com, a place for her rants. It’s lacking in content, but given Julia’s passion, I don’t expect it to stay that way for long.

    I built a site for work the other day, that I won’t link here, which is going to be a knowledge base, with some internal and external facing bits. I’ve yet figure out the long term of it, but in the short term, I’m happy with it.

    Prior to that, I built a site for Nick Black, because he’s been asking for a site to be built for a while now and while I think I’m not worth paying, he was happy with what I was able to build for him. And despite his initial protests that he’s not any good with it, he picked up the basics of WordPress pretty quick. It’s one of those things that is far more intimidating in people’s heads than it is once you sit down in front of it.

    While I probably could have billed him for hours and hours of updates, but I’d rather just get him comfortable putting up his own updates. I’m perfectly happy getting paid to create content, but for some reason I’m not a fan of getting paid to move content from one place to another. I think it’s a moral objection. Either I’m not getting paid enough for it to be worth my time, or I’m getting paid far more than the job is worth, and neither of those appeal to me.

    Anyways, enough rambling. I’ve built blackandbluebdsm.com for Nick Black, and I’ll be working with him in the future to develop and promote it. My 2/3rds of a marketing degree are going to get put to good use.

    My next project, is probably to learn more about how SEO works. Since that’s something I’m fairly clueless about. I should also work on adding the internal sections to the secret new work site, and figure out the security bits on those. Having an easily update-able page for “Known and Suspected Issues” seems like it would be a good thing.  Or maybe just a category with posting functionality. I need to figure out the best solution. Well, that’s what experimentation is for.

     

  • Productivity

    I’ve entered into a phase of high productivity, insomnia and mild mania.

    I’m unclear as to the catalyst to this state. I’ve no illusions that I understand how to maintain it, no solid predictions on the duration or the potential aftermath.

    I notice I’ve become less detail oriented, more absentminded, but for now this is compensated for by the drive forward. Momentum over precision.

    Forget a required piece for this step? Work around it. Hit a wall on one project? Bash head into wall until cracks appear or something shiny interrupts. Chase the shiny.

  • The keys

    Stumbling into the darkened kitchen, I noticed a shine on the table. Flicking on the lights, I found a hastily scrawled note. “The door locks from the other side now, here are the keys.” The keys lay there, reflecting the light.

  • True North Facts : Water Features

    Before foreign architects included water features in designs for their buildings, Canadians needed to travel into the wilderness to take part in recreational ice climbing. Now that many buildings include them, urban Canadians can enjoy a nice climb during their lunch hour. The practice has become so popular that a some restaurants have included a “winter entrance”.

  • I need to write more.

    I’ve looked over the dates on my blogs and I’ve had a period recently where I haven’t really been writing. I’ve worked on a couple of articles for Erotic Vancouver, but I’ve only managed to publish one. I’ve got another one that needs to some work, the idea is there, but what I’m going to do with it isn’t there yet. Beyond that, I wrote one short piece of fiction, and a couple smaller things, but almost nothing of any note in the last month or so.

    Partially this was related to stress and tech issues. I had a couple of cellphone issues and some PC issues. And work was busy for a bit, which tends to leave me more frazzled than functional.

    I’ve been walking more, and I haven’t had a good way to dictate while I’m walking, which might be something to look into. I suppose I could re-install the cogi app, which was designed for recording audio and flagging important bits. But for that to really work, I’d need a better mic for it. I suppose I could get a bluetooth mic, but I think that seems like a higher tech solution to the problem than I want to get into at the moment. Carrying the lighter of the two laptops and stopping to write when I have an idea is probably the best solution.

    Speaking of audio tech, I should also see if I can find a co-host, as I batting around the idea of starting a podcast. That seems like it might be something I’d be good at. Though apparently the best podcasts do some pre-scripting.

    Still, I should be writing more.

    I suppose it didn’t help that I got very little response to ISLE, which I thought was a charming little idea.

    I expected Garth Spencer to have been amused by it and reposting it, at the very least, but nothing from him.

     

  • #30for30. I failed.

    Well, last weekend, I managed my 30for30 on the first day off, but not the second day off, as I spend the day buried under the blankets with a sore throat, drinking fluids and generally trying to conserve energy. That carried over for a couple more days, and I didn’t continue my post work walking, though I should have.

    So, I’ve failed the challenge, though I’ll be trying to get back into the habit of it soon.

    My hours at work will be changing. I’ll be doing the Monday to Friday, noon to nine shift. I’m going to try to walk home after, which should be good. Or at least walk as far as BCIT.

     

  • ISLE

    The Irresponsible Scientists League of Earth (ISLE) claimed responsibility today, sort of, for the horrific events of last week. They admitted that they installed the intelligence expansion devices in churches, mosques and synagogues around the world, but claim that the devices were intended to slowly increase the intelligence of attendees and not cause rapid cranial expansion. ISLE had expected depression and confusion, followed by enlightenment and an increased interest in science. Not the showers of blood and gore that accompanied the head explosions.

    “Apparently one of the guys overclocked it for better performance, and the result was perfectly logical.”

  • Upgrading my current PC

    I’ve got an invoice for a PC I built in 2012, for around a grand. I want to figure out what’s the best upgrade path. Aiming for playable Star Citizen at 1920X1080. Any thoughts would be welcome.

    The parts list from the invoice:

    EVGA GeForce GTX 460 823MHZ 1024MB 4GHZ GDDR5 SLI Ready 2DVI Mini HDMI PCI-E Video Card

    Antec Truepower New 650W Modular Power Supply ATX12V V2.3 Active PFC 80 Plus SLI Ready 120MM PWM Fan

    Corsair CMZ8GX3M2A1866C9 Vengeance 8GB 2X4GB DDR3-1866 CL9-10-9-27 Memory Kit

    AMD Phenom II X4 965 Black Edition Quad Core Processor AM3 3.4GHZ 8MB Cache 125W 45NM Retail Box

    ASUS M5A99X Evo ATX AM3+ DDR3 AMD 990X 3PCI-E16 2PCI-E1 1PCI USB3.0 SATA3 GBLAN Motherboard

    Mushkin Chronos 120GB 2.5IN SATA3 Sandforce SF-2281 SSD Solid State Disk Flash Drive – Replaced with a different SSD after a failure.

    Update :

    I’ve doubled the Ram and installed a second SSD as my games drive, using my funds from my midnight moving service.

    I’ve also swapped back to Windows 7, and most of the issues appear to be resolved.

  • Scheduling issues.

    So, I thought I had a shift tonight and so I showed up at the office at 2:30, only to find all the desks were taken. But, we’ve had busy evenings lately, so they figure I might as well stick around. After about an hour, the morning shift clears out and I get my desk back. Not long after that, one of the regular night shift guys finds himself developing a migraine. So, it worked out. I finished a full Friday shift, and headed home.

    I’ve got Sunday booked off for recovery after helping with the Noir Setup and Teardown. I’m hoping that my friend doesn’t bail on our Saturday night plans, as currently I’m going to require her assistance to get back from parking lot after I drop off the van. The vehicles for this time lined up in the wrong ways, which has complicated things. Worst case, I’ll get creative.

    Or get some late night exercise in.

    At some point on Saturday and maybe Sunday, I’d like to get some gaming in. Possibly some solo LotR on Saturday morning.

    I still need to play Dead of Winter at some point, but it needs 3-5 people.

  • Lord of the Rings – LCG

    The other day, I picked up a copy of the Lord of the Rings card game. It’s a co-op LCG, where you run a trio or sextet of heroes through a series of encounters on their way through the events of various sections of the LoTR mythology. The starter box comes with Through the Mirkwood, where you face off against the giant spiders, and two other scenarios. I’ve done about half a game of through the Mirkwood, attempting to get a feel for the game. So far, I really like it.

    I picked this up after listening to the Low Player count podcast. It was the favorite game of two of the three hosts. I’d also watched through some Watch it Played, to get a feel for the mechanics. They’re similar enough to the mechanics to Magic to be familiar, but also unique enough to be interesting.

    On a whim, I also bought a copy for pair of old friends who I never spend time with these days, as they tend to be busy raising their daughter. I figured since they both enjoy LoTR and this is a good co-op, they might enjoy playing it together. They just picked it up from the Post Office last night, and I’m curious to hear their first impressions.

    Amusingly, while I initially bought it on a whim, I found out the next day that it was her birthday. While I rarely actually send people birthday gifts, as I have a strange policy regarding birthdays, this case of synchronicity worked out nicely.

    I suspect this will become a series of short articles regarding my thoughts on the LoTR LCG and on the whole solo/single co-op aspect of board games. I’ve got a few I’ve picked up over the years that are supposedly playable as single co-op, and as I rarely have much social gaming time, it might be nice to enjoy the mechanics on my own.




    Purchased at Starlit Citadel

  • #30for30 day 16 & 17

    After writing my article yesterday, I had enough time for a nice walk down past Dick’s Lumber before catching my bus. I’m not sure exactly how much time it took, but I left my place just after 1:10 and I arrived at the bus stop at 1:53. I’m used to being able to check the Google Fit record to see how long I was walking for, but I don’t currently have that option. Today I’ll get a walk in before I head over to visit Gram and Carol. And tonight I think I may end up soaking in the hot tub.

  • Upcoming events from Rascal’s Club.

    Last year, I met up with Gem from Rascal’s club after Taboo to talk about her upcoming events. The Ms. Rascal’s Pageant and their Kinky Camping. Both were great events, and this morning I met with Gem over coffee to discuss her plans for this year. Well, that and to catch up on all the latest news from the various corners of the community. One of the topics were got talking about was Markus and his VR Porn company, MetaVerseXXX.

    The change we had discussed last year, where the Ms. Rascal’s Pageant will include a Mr. Rascal’s title, has come to pass. But more on that over on Erotic Vancouver.

  • #30for30 Day 15 – More Gremlins

    I didn’t get my full walk in before work, so I figured I’d do what I’ve done lately and walk home via BCIT, getting in a good 30-50 minutes of walking down a rather quiet bike route. This plan was sidetracked by the gremlins deciding to take the life of my celllphone. It’s stuck in rebooting when powered up loop. So, I had to head home to switch to my backup phone before continuing my walk. But, I managed to get my 30 minutes in before midnight.

  • #30for30 day 14.

    Walk down towards BCIT, a 50+ minute walk. Decent speed, until I got into the maze bits where the road isn’t what the map says it should be.

  • #30for30 day 12 & 13.

    Day 12, I had a coffee with a friend. Well, sorta. She ordered a basic cold green tea and I did the same; instead of my usual mocha frappe. It was different, not sure how likely I am to order it again. However, still an improvement. After that, took a walk around the heights, playing some ingress in the process. Ended it after I’d gotten my required 30 minutes because it started to rain.

    This morning, I’m going for a walk before work, despite the rain. I’ve put a work shirt into my pack for changing into after I get to the office.

    Also I’m keeping my eye out for any Mormons so I can get a copy of the Book to read. Though I might ask them for a copy of the Book of Arnold.

  • The Society of the Ethical Top

    Over the years I’ve heard my share of horror stories about the BDSM community. Many of the events that become the stories are probably avoidable though education and negotiation. An aspect that is often neglected in that regard is mediation; an attempt to discover how things went wrong and grow from them. In some cases, meditation won’t improve matters, as the intent behind the violation was harmful. In most cases however the intent to harm isn’t present; but misunderstanding can result in demonization as an attempt to rationalise the harm felt. Overlooking this can result in both division and gossip, something that can actually create a smokescreen within which the real predators can hide.

    In order to promote this harm reductive approach, it was proposed that we develop a code of conduct and encourage those so inclined to join a collective dedicated to that end. A society for ethical tops. While I think I’d prefer a term with a different connotation, something closer to brotherhood, I dislike the assumed gender bias that might come with that term. Members across the gender spectrum would be welcome, and of the various orientations, with the caveat that the organisation is limiting its scope to the actions while responsible for others. A different group would be more suited for the oversight of the actions of the other party.

    A suggested code of conduct:

    Always obtain informed consent.
    Negotiate all potential activities prior to playing. This includes aftercare.
    Never renegotiate when consent cannot be obtained.
    Admit your mistakes, attempt to resolve them in reasonable fashion.
    Do not misrepresent yourself or your skills.
    Do not allow style to countermand substance.
    Cease play when a safeword is used, ensure others do also.
    Ensure that your partner is properly monitored whenever they are in an altered state.
    You are responsible for your own mental state, take reasonable precautions.
    Do not intentionally or deliberately cause unwanted damage, be it mental, physical or emotional.
    Inform your partner when you have concerns.
    Ensure your partner always has a method of communicating with you.

  • #30for30 Day 10 and 11.

    Last night, I walked home from work in the rain. It was reasonably intermittent, so I didn’t get soaked. I made it down to the bus stop by Deer Lake parkway, checked the time til the next bus, it was long enough that it made sense to walk down the hill to the next stop. I probably could have made it one more before the bus, but it wasn’t worth the risk of missing it and having to wait 30 minutes for the next one.

    Today, it’s a nice sunny day, I’ll go for a wander around the heights and play a bit of ingress, before doing a longer walk down along the waterfront trail.

    And then tonight, I go see the Book of Mormon with Dimestore and co. I haven’t decided how formal I want to dress.

  • Gremlins

    I’m suffering from some serious gremlins lately. The mail server at the office had issues, google thought I was in China, my cellphone just decided to crash and go into a state where it wouldn’t boot, and other tech has been acting up. Oh, and that nice ADSL outage and ERX server issue the other day.

    I’d blame a technomancer, but I haven’t seen any evidence of resonance.

    Working in Tech support, I’m supposed to deal with other people’s technical inabilities, not be suffering from my own unexplained ones. Well, at least I’ve got the training to make them work again without bothering someone about it.

  • #30for30 day 9.

    Longer walk tonight. Two short walks during the day to visit gram and then to get to work, then a 45 minute walk down to Goard way stop after work. The timing meant I didn’t need to wait long for the bus. Then another 10 minutes after the bus to get home.
    Thinking about installing the zombie! run app and doing that over the weekend, since I’ll have the time and it’ll be something different.

  • #30for30 day 8.

    Laggy day before work again. After work, headed north along a north south bike trail that goes down to BCIT. Had a nice 40 minute walk to get down here. If my bike was 100%, I’d consider riding to/from work. I need to get the chains checked and oiled before I take it on long rides. Oh and of course get some practice riding on the weekends to be sure my muscles and balance will handle riding for an extended period.

  • #30for30 day 7.

    Didn’t get a walk in before work. Work ended at 9:05. Walked down to bcit, over 30 minutes. Good enough.

  • #30for30 day 6.

    Took a walk this morning. Miscalculated the route, should have taken a different one to catch the 123 after I finished it. Oh well, 40 minutes is decent.

  • Monday plans.

    It’s Monday, the start of another work week. I’ll be working til 9pm every night this week, so that limits what I can plan.

    I’ve got my #30for30 going on, so I’ll need to be getting in at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. That means a walk every day before I head to work, preferably before I shower, so I’m not offending my coworkers.

    I’m thinking I might try for more, during the evening, after I have my dinner, since I haven’t done night walks in a while, and I kinda miss that peacefulness.

    I’d like to get some Shadowrun planned for the weekend, but it seems unlikely. But that’s up to Dimestore; though I guess I could try to have a character building session without him.

    I’ve been craving some board games lately, so I’m thinking I’ll set up either Mage Knight or Robinson Crusoe on the downstairs table and leave it up and running as a solo game. Could also do this with Eldritch Horror or some of the other Co-op games. Maybe the Pandemic dice game. Though Robinson Crusoe and Mage Knight are considered the most challenging and engaging in this category.

    On an unrelated note, my scars are itchy recently. Mostly the ones from my Gallbladder surgery a few years back. No idea why.

    My attempts to write something for EV have been kinda blah lately. I should get inspired to write something, but I’m a bit lacking in inspiration.

    Same goes for my attempt to write fiction, though I have a recurring character rattling around in my head. A journalist with a mysterious curse that ensures that he’ll always awaken to the sounds of conflict. He’s adopted the nickname Warzone, since that’s where he keeps ending up. The problem is, I don’t see how to fit him into anything.

  • A military academy, really?

    So, this morning I woke up with memories of having taken a giant ant robot out to a military academy, by way of a golf course. While I was out there, I had to deal with a rather hardcore religious ceremony, befriended by some Ukrainian orthodox crew who had some strange rituals of their own, including some strange complicated handshake. The nuns had strange crucified monkey puppets, something that made sense, but confuses me now. Then the giant ants got into a fight with a half dozen other ant robots that had been hidden around the grounds. And then the data was somehow uploaded, despite the military safeguards. At which point it became clear that something strange was going on. Then we found out that the academy was haunted, by something that whispered into the ears of the cadets and influenced them. Except the band,  because they were deaf to it’s whispers, and another group for similar reasons. It had the most influence over the religious types, since they spent plenty of time in silence.

    Prior to all this, there was a strange rave in a school, for some sort of planetary alignment. This involved the destruction of many of the facilities in the school, especially the toilets; on every damn floor.

  • #30for30 day 5.

    After work, I walked north towards BCIT and got in a good 30 minutes before finding a bus stop to catch it home.

  • #30for30 Day 4. A walk around the Heights.

    It wasn’t raining, so I went for a walk. Then the phone rang. Richard wanted to go to Neptune. After I spent another 25 minutes walking around,  I headed out there, and spent 5 hours fixing phone systems.

  • Cleaning up my categories.

    Just doing some vague maintenance on the site, cleaning up the various categories that I’ve got things flagged under. I probably need to add a few more categories, especially as I add more random posts.

  • Day 3 of the 30for30.

    #30for30 – Well, day 3, managed 3.33kms in 34 minutes. Plus the time that I had to wait for the traffic lights to cross Hastings.

  • More strange dreams

    Warning. This will probably be disturbing to some readers.
    This was an unexpectedly violent dream. 

     

    Writing in strange places, like a wooden picnic table, cantilevered over a pool. Having to adjust the table, so it wasn’t sinking into the pool. People asking for the WiFi password, and not taking the hint that I didn’t want to give it to them.

    A computer set up in my old bed room; someone stealing files from it. A confrontation with the guy who’d taken the files, being told they were nothing to worry about, just my porn collection; broken up by his friend. Killing the friend in the other room, after being told it was blackmail material, coming back for the original thief, trying to get answers from him; choking him to death.

    Running commands on the PC, finding out that they’d stolen kickstarter promo files that had been sent to me; nothing important, just a curiosity.

    Depression. Hiding the bodies. People still around, not realizing how far things had escalated. Normal socializing, some conflicts, guilt and then admission of what I’d done. Discussions of suicide; conversations on best methods, some arguments. Find a poison that kills my liver, taking it. Feeling it failing. Wanting to write before the end. Setting up the laptop and writing until I passed out.

    Waking up, in bed. Different house, memories fading. Breakfast, then writing this.

  • If I had friends…

    …I’d plan to spend this weekend playing  board games with them.

    Since I don’t seem to have friends with free time or an interest in board games, I’ll binge on netflix, play some ingress, and walk until my feet hurt. And maybe do some writing.

  • Day 2 of the 30 for 30.

    I woke up at 6 am, and couldn’t get back to sleep for about 2 hours. After I got back to sleep, I had a dream involving a really nice classic car, that I had helped offload into a driveway. Afterwards, I backed into it. Immediately. Then I woke up. It was around 11am. Gram was checking to see if I was still coming to visit her. I got a lift over there with my mother, chatted with Gram for a little bit, then we took the two dogs out for a 40 minute walk around the neighbourhood. Decent exercise, though I didn’t have my watch on me to check the pace I was keeping or the distance walked.

    Then more time with Gram and a nice meal, before a ride to work.

    Gram seems to be doing better. She’s got a walker with two sets of wheels now, and seems able to get around the house.

    Then a shift at work, with a nice salad packed by my mother. And then, my weekend.

  • First day of 30 minute extra exercise.

    35 minutes, 3.69kms.
    I could post the route, if it had value to anyone.

  • 30 for 30.

    My mother convinced me to get involved with a 30 for 30 challenge. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be doing an extra 30 minutes of exercise a day, every day. Today, I walked for about an hour, before I headed to work. Unfortunate shoe choice meant I’ve got a strange blister on my left foot today, to go along with the lack of healing I’ve had on the small toe on the right foot.

    In theory, it would be nice to have feet that don’t hurt, but I’m not sure how one manages to have that.

    In any case, tomorrow morning, I’ll be getting up an hour early, so I can have an hour walk before I head into the office. Thursday, I’ll probably walk over to my parent’s place to visit my grandmother before work.

    Looking at the map, it’s about 8-10 Km, depending on which route I take, which is about a 2 hour walk, give or take. Might be a bit much, if my foot is sore. Then again, I might feel up for it. If I plan my route right, I can always take the bus after I’ve had enough of a walk to satisfy the pledge and whatever extra I’m in the mood for.

    Also, I’ve apparently lost track of time, as it’s nearly 1 am, and last time I looked at the clock it was quarter to midnight.

  • Ultrasound.

    Well, that was fun. 30 minutes of poking with a rod and being told to take a deep breath and take out. Hit a coffee shop after, then headed down towards Hastings. Got in a bit of a walk, and now I’m sitting down for a bit of breakfast at the Red Wagon. Mental note, come back here.
    The doctor will get the ultrasound results in a few days then he’ll contact me.
    8 hour day after I get back to Burnaby. Short week though, what with the long weekend coming up.
    Really feeling the need to roll some d6s though.

  • disrupted

    Apparently I pressed the wrong button and failed to save about a page of writing that I’d just typed up.

    I wrote that I had a pretty quiet weekend. I helped with Noir’s setup and teardown, though I didn’t attend the event. I wasn’t really up for socializing in a loud place. I also skipped the socializing at Starlit citadel’s open house on Saturday, though I don’t have a good reason for that.

    Got home around midmorning, and mid-afternoon I got a text from someone asking me to help with some community drama. I also found out that my plans with Dimestore, which had been postponed, were officially cancelled.
    I was asked to take sides in an argument that I didn’t have the details of, so I tried to just squash the jerks and leave the rest of it for later. At some point, I’d like to talk to the people who have a clue, so I know what the logical next step is.
    Tomorrow, I’ve got to get up early for an ultrasound, checking on my liver.

  • brief update

    I need to write things more often. I’ve been slacking lately.
    There was some recent news regarding my liver. It scored a 16 on a test where anything above a 10 is a bad thing. But that’s been covered on my facebook, which this posts to, so most people who read this will already have read about that.

  • Raspberry Pi

    So, I’m definitely thinking about buying a Raspberry PI.
    They’re pretty cheap, pretty interesting to work on, and surprisingly powerful now.
    Also tiny. 85.60mm x 56mm x 21mm.
    I’ll need to build/find a case for it. I’m not sure what to do with it after that.

  • Domlander 2015

    Well, that was a fun night. I wrote a decent piece. It’s up over here, at Erotic Vancouver. And now I’m tired. Tomorrow, I’m going to wander Victoria for a bit. Maybe do some ingressing.

  • Live Blog.

    Well, I’m about to make another attempt to channel the spirit of Spider Jerusalem once again, and put together a live blog. A stream of my thoughts, coherent enough to be understood and interesting enough to be worth reading. If you’re curious what I’m up to tonight, it’ll be going up over on EroticVancouver.com. 

    IMG_20150321_185151

  • Decompression.

    Well, it’s Tuesday now. I had an interesting weekend at GottaCon. On Sunday night, I got news that my grandmother had injured herself on the stairs, she’d slipped fallen a few stairs. She didn’t break anything, but has a few bruises and is obviously stiff. She’s currently walking with a walker, and will be staying with my uncle for a bit.

    We headed back after we heard the news, rather than sticking around for the extra day. During a rush to catch the last ferry, we managed to leave behind a big IKEA bag full of board games, which have since been recovered and are on their way to being returned.

    Work has been a bit hectic. The unanswered email pile got a bit large while I was away. And the other guy who was on nights with me tonight, had a bit of an emergency, and hasn’t come in.

    Not much longer, and I’ll head home.

    I’ll heat up the leftover pizza, crawl into bed, and then come back in tomorrow.

    Then Thursday, I’m going for AYEC Lunch, before work.

    Unclear about my plans for the weekend, though I’d like to try to get people together for Shadowrun planning on Saturday. Most likely it’ll end up getting botched again, but it’s worth trying.

    And in two weeks, I’m heading back to Victoria for Domlander. I’ll be doing some coverage on it for EV.

  • live fire enviroment.

    Testing in the laboratory is a good start. Once its solid there, then you test it under field conditions. Then you get someone else to test it; if it can survive that, then you’re ready to deploy it.

    Remember the key to success is being able to recognize when you’re completely unprepared and having the fortitude to go for it anyways.

    Having a wide ranging skill set and the right tools is far less stressful though.

  • Medication

    I started wondering tonight if the maturity and social awkwardness of the last few years is the result of growth or the result of the cipralex that I’ve been taking as a mood stabilizer.

    Prior to taking the cipralex, I was having issues with stress and a bit of anxiety. At least I think that it was the reasoning at the time. As usual, I’m a bit fuzzy on the exact motivations of something that happened  a while back.

    I know I had experienced a few panic attacks, when I’d come up the stairs at night and didn’t hear anything.  Those still happen from time to time.

    I know I also had a few periods where I’d get angry for no rational reason. That definitely helped tip the scales towards taking the pills.

  • Games for Gottacon.

    Those that are coming:

    The Maybe List:

    The Nope list:

    Pile is too big!

    Down to the vitals:

    Cthulhu Wars
    Roll for the Galaxy
    Dead of Winter

    Alchemists?
    Evolution

    Among the Stars

    Doomtown – May need to pack smaller.
    Netrunner – Has it’s own bag.

     

  • Sunny morning.

    On my way to work on a nice sunny day. I’ve got an hour til I start, and about 15 minutes worth of travel time on my current route. So, that’s 45 minutes to wander and enjoy the sunshine.
    Tomorrow I’ve got a work lunch, which will be nice. Friday I’ve got the day off since I booked time off to help Reive with the Noir setup down at the Astoria. Instead I’ll be working the Sunday.

    Saturday, I’d intended to attend the Netrunner pub tournament, but if I’m helping with Noir until at least 4am, I don’t think I’ll be able to run the nets at 11am. Just not enough sleep to pull that off.

    Then 4 days of work straight, before sailing off to gottacon. Thursday I’ll have free to be social before we head out Friday morning.

  • Obviously, I need to write more.

    Today I decided to invest another $100 into my 2009 White Unibody Macbook. I’ve already replaced the main hard drive with an SSD to keep it functional and stripped out the CD room drive for a space to throw in a bigger storage drive.

    While my chromebook is my preferred machine for writing on while I’m mobile, the mac, when plugged in, is still a better machine to work on, especially since I can actually load a bunch of applications and have them all function properly. On the chromebook, I’m having to root it, load a xfce shell, and then install the apps inside that. It’s just a bit more work than I want to do most of the time.

    At some point, I need to get around to resyncing my ubikeys & lastpass implementations. It’s currently only working on my cellphone and my desktop, and it would be handy to have it available on all my other machines. But that’s my own fault since the password string I used for it is rather long and complicated, as it is a master password after all.

    At some point, I need to see about modifying some SIP phones for wifi usage. Those will come in handy.

    In the meantime, I’ve set up a SIP account that will be able to reach me as a local Vancouver call, where ever I might be at the time. I’m not sure how useful this number is to people, but it now exists.

    Perhaps I’ll change the voicemail and set it up as a call-in number for comments. Or perhaps I’ll get a 1-877 number for that. I can currently get those at a nicely reduced rate.

    I should get back to my writing, especially the Drunken Wormhole story. I think I should remove the working title and replace it with something a little more subtle, though I’m not sure what would work. Perhaps something related to grapes into wine, with a biblical grapes of wrath reference. Sowing the Grapes of Suffering perhaps.

    I started writing up some of our shadowrun stories, over on reddit, they went over fairly well. Though without the players around, it’s a little harder to write those up at this point. Although, we do have the audio logs for most of those sessions somewhere. It might be worth going through those to pull out some key events.

    I’ve been meaning to write up a few more board game reviews also. I played Cthulhu Wars the other day, and Roll for the Galaxy last night, both those could use a review. I’m not sure how well received those are, as I don’t really get much feedback for them.

    I don’t really feel like writing when I’m home these days. At least not at my desk. And I haven’t really had much inclination to write when I’ve been out, as I’ve been on the macbook and it’s been in that limbo state. With the new power supply, maybe I can be more confident in it.

  • Predatory Behaviors discussion

    Recently on Jezebel, there was an article about a Male Feminist being accused of rape. I brought the topic up with Reive, as something Erotic Vancouver should address. The biggest problem is, currently EV is a bit lacking in active female writers.

    We recently added 2ndNature, though I think she’s still getting stuff sorted out. We were also adding Moon Dancer, though I’m unclear when she’s going to have the time to write, as she tends to have a busy life.

    So, I approached a couple of other females from the kink community, for their opinions. We’ve got a few of them interested in a round table discussion on the topic. I think we’ll get a good discussion out of it. Mostly I’ll just be facilitating and taking notes, since I think our readers would prefer that we avoid mansplaining this issue.

    The topic that I want to look is just predatory behavior in the community in general.

    For me, the biggest flag about some male feminists, is the camouflage aspect of it. The article refers to it as Macktivism, a portmanteau of Macking and Activism, and it is described as a dating strategy. I see it as a predator trying to find ways to hide by disguising themselves something harmless. For various reasons, that really bothers me.

  • Thoughts on a rainy day

    I’ve noticed that it’s been nearly a week since my last post. Well, I posted something in the meantime, but I posted it elsewhere, so that doesn’t count. It’s felt like a busy week, even though not much has happened.

    Mostly I’m killing time until the end of the mouth. Gottacon, over in Victoria. Gaming and socializing. And of course the Portal 2 musical.

    And then the following month, Domlander. The current plan is that I’ll get set up with a table where I can write about it live during the show. I’m looking forward to that.

    Speaking of writing, I bought a digital copy of Volume 1 of Transmetropolitan. The scene with Spider on the rooftop, that was what I was reminded of, when I was liveblogging at Taboo. Not quite the same impact obvious. Much more similar to his rally against the churches in Volume 2. But, the point was, I had a laptop and my words were going out live. If only I was a glasshole, I’d have his ability to snap pictures on command. Still, the ability to take pictures was rarely vital. His key characteristic was the writing. That and his dedication to the truth.

    I’ve been trying to get my friends to read at least Volume 1. Especially my friends over at EroticVancouver; Reive, Mikey, that’d be you.

  • Underground

    Sitting in an underground parkade, outside something that can best be described as a rave. Reminds me of a similar parties ages ago. I’m trying to have some deep thoughts, but the surface tension seems pretty solid. Just skipping stones across the surface at this point.

  • Hatchets

    The other night, while reflecting on the past, I was reminded of my role as the hatchet man lurking in the shadows of the community. That’s a thought that requires some explanation. I don’t know that I can pinpoint when it started or how, but I do have an understanding of why it came about.

    It is open to interpretation whether my compulsion to make decisions that are unprofitable but morally satisfying is a result of moral fibre or self hatred combined with an inferiority complex.

    It’s also possible that I’m just addicted to the self satisfaction of taking the moral high ground, or at least playing at being a hero.

    The fact that I’ve developed the assumption of that the fact that I’m an outcast and unwanted; and yet still around, means I’m basically untouchable. Nothing anyone can say about me can force me further from the people who know me. They’ve accepted my flaws and my baggage, for their own reasons. I don’t see that changing without activity on my part. Unless I change what I am, the bargain remains, and so I remain.

    That frees me up to be honest, to say the words that others might decide to swallow. I can be bluntly honest, since it can’t damage my reputation.

    And these elements key off each other, and other elements of my personality. I observe things that I could probably ignore, and I find it hard to keep myself from getting involved. From trying to make things better, because a part of me remembers the way things were for me, and how making things better would have meant so much, of when it did mean something to me.

    In any case, I get told things or I see things, and the pieces get put together. I build a little diorama and flesh it out. The players all get dressed up in the appropriate hats.

    And then I have a obligation, so I go try to do the right thing, look the fool, feel like the hero, and maybe accomplish something in the process.  Though usually all that does is to create enough doubt that the conscience of the person actually resolves the damn issue.

    Resolution is resolution, and results is results, so people tell you more stories and you try again. The process is cyclical and ephemeral, but it works well enough that people who want to believe in it will keep believing in it. That’s the way all faiths function.

    Then again, sometimes I actually accomplish things through sheer blunt force; bashing my skull into the wall until I come out the other side.

  • There will come a morning after…

    I’m on the bus on the way back into the office. I’ve had an interesting weekend. Created more content than I’ve created in a long time. It can be found over on EroticVancouver. That’s the majority of the writing I did this weekend, though there’s another 50% again as many words that have been written and will be released on EV over the next couple weeks.

    While I was at Taboo for most of the weekend, I did manage to get some work done. Delivered three modems that should go live sometime today. And sat in the dungeon programming an ATA during the show, so that the ported number would work properly.

    After I finished playing Locker Tetris with the gear from the dungeon, I delivered the ATA, tweaked the router and tested it out. Then I headed over to the post Taboo defrag. It was nice. Managed to get the last piece of the live blog finished while sipping on homemade gin.

  • Intensions (SiC)

    My intentions for this blog were to write about the concept in Gaming known as Murder Hobos, the adventurers who lack moral fibre and motivation for their violent kill sprees. I was reminded of this the other day, when someone on a shadowrun podcast referred to their players as murderhobos. It reminded me of what I intended to write here,  what I wanted to examine. It was always partly my intent to chronicle my personal experiences, but I had also wanted to examine gamer culture.

    The big thing standing in the way of that, is that due to personality conflicts, I haven’t played Pathfinder, Shadowrun, or any other RPGs in ages. I have a few people who could become a great shadowrunning crew, if they were given enough the chance, but we have yet to have the time to seize that chance.

    Our previous shadowrun group handled some pretty rough material, including blood magic with the requisite human sacrifice, environmental terrorism, insurance fraud and involuntary urban renewal.

    I want to get back to that, especially now that I’ve got a place to write about it.

    Oh, right, I meant to talk about the tensions that I’m under. Well, if you’ve been a gamer who was part of a great group, you’ll understand the tension. If not, I’m not sure how to explain it.

  • The Calm before the Storm

    Well, it’s Saturday morning, and I’m sitting on a couch, watching House with my Grandmother, who is currently cuddling my stuffed Cthulhu. We’ve been watching House for a few weeks now, since I had it on one night after work. Prior to that, I’d been watching it to decompress after work, and I’d gotten through five or so seasons. I think we’ve only got a season or two left.

    In theory, I should head down to Taboo soon, but Gram isn’t feeling great, so I’m sticking around here for a bit. On Monday, she had some heart problems, and was hospitalized overnight. That was pretty stressful for me. Work was understanding about it, something I appreciate. I made the right decision not to pursue the other job opportunities.

    Thursday, I headed down to Taboo to do setup. Well, first I picked up a couch from the Salvation Army store and delivered it, in order to recruit a volunteer to help me with Taboo. Then I hit the storage locker, loaded in the few pieces that Noir was bringing down to Taboo, drove down, and dropped off that gear. I stationed one of my volunteers there, and ran some other errands. And then I made it into the office, only an hour late, something I’d previously arranged.

    I didn’t manage to get any Taboo preview writing done, which I had intended to do. I could have gone down to Taboo after work, but I decided to go home and spend time with Gram instead.

    Last night, after work, I headed down to Taboo, and managed to get a decent amount of writing done. I did a few interviews with various people hanging out in the dungeon and planned out what I want to write over the next few days.

    I’d like to get back to writing on my fiction projects, and maybe some other articles. However, I think I need more mental space to be able to get that done. Which means it’ll probably be a week or so before I manage to get much writing done.

  • Breakfast at Cozmos

    I’m relaxing at Cozmos up on Hastings; east of the Heights, just past Kensington. Lovely little place, run by some great people. Really friendly, really welcoming. I just had a lovely Italian Benny and am getting myself mentally ready for what promises to be a pretty heavy day.

    At 4pm I’ll be meeting Reive, Cap’n Matt, Mikey and Gutrot at the OV train station to take the Modo Promaster over to the storage locker. All the Noir pieces from the locker will get loaded into the van, driven to Chapel and unloaded. Then, after the party, around 3am, we’ll reverse the process and pack it all back into the locker. This isn’t a normal occurrence, just a factor of our beloved venue being under renovations for the next few months.

    I figure I’ll get home around dawn, and either zombie out all day, or nap for a bit. I’ve an invitation to Dimestore’s place for board games, if I can manage to recover my faculties by noon.

    Monday, I’ve got a 9am doctors appointment, though I can’t recall what for at this point. Probably just a checkup. No real health complaints these days.

    Then Thursday, I’ll show up at OV at 10 am to load the furniture from the locker into Taboo. That should take a few hours. Then we will try to do the Taboo highlights slideshow and article for Erotic Vancouver.

    It’ll be my first time working with Roman of Dark Edge Media. I’ve seen his photography, he’s got a good eye.

    And then I’ll be back at the show most of the weekend. And then teardown Sunday night.

    So, two interesting weekends in a row, plus a full week of work in between. There is only bad part of this plan. I won’t have any time for gaming until… Well, I’m not sure when.

    At the end of the month, I’ll get my gaming fix at Gottacon.

    In the meantime, my copy of Cthulhu Wars has arrived from Green Eyed Games. Its giant and amazing.

    But playing it will need to wait.

  • Drunkard Dance 0.56

    Duggan regained his balance. He was standing in a bathroom; it was somehow familiar. His attacker hadn’t followed him in, just shoved him through. Duggan turned and twisted the bolt on the door, locking it.

    His head spun for a moment, and he stepped towards the sink. He twisted the right hand tap, ran his hand under the water and then splashed it up into his face. He stared into the mirror, collecting his thoughts. A sticker on the bottom corner of the mirror caught his eye and he focused on it for a moment.

    His head cleared, he turned back to the door. He listened for a moment, his breathing slow and calm. Positioning himself, he unlocked it and pulled it open, ready to deal with the crazy old man. In front of him was an empty hallway. He closed the door, and glanced room. Locking the door once more, he stepped towards another door and pulled on the handle. It didn’t open, seemingly locked. His eyes focused on the lock.

    He placed his hands to his forehead, rubbing briefly and then brushed back his hair. Pulling his key ring off his belt, he flipped through it until he found a key labelled ‘Janitorial Master’. The key slid into the lock and disengaged the cylinders smoothly. He pulled the door open, revealing a supply closet.

    “I was in the bar, and now I’m at work. What the fuck.” His voice was calm and quiet. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “And it’s Tuesday.”

    His phone began to beep as text messages started coming in at a rapid pace. The voice mail indicator flashed on the screen. He had 16 new messages.

    He shook his head and went back to the sink, washing his face again.

  • Drinks unfinished – 0.47

    Gorman held the bottle up to the light. “Well, that’s just about half the bottle. And according to the letter, I should save the other half.” He paused dramatically. “For the Future.” He raised his glass towards Duggan.

    “Right. The future. Does the letter mention the next bottle?”

    “Believe it or not, it does.” Gorman reaches down under the table again, into the little cabinet that has been installed there. “I think that’s the main reason I’m playing along. My uncle had good taste.” Duggan toyed his glass and set it back on the table, a little bit left in it. Gorman pulled out another bottle and set it on the table. “I’ll grab us some fresh glasses. No point tainting the bouquet.” He smirked as he said it, his tone raised; he stood up from the table and walked towards the front of the building.

    “John. I’m surprised to see you here. This is unexpected.”

    Duggan turned, seeing an older gentleman approaching the table from the rear of the building. The man looked quite a bit like James Gorman, though his hair was grey and his skin wrinkled. Duggan narrowed his eyes, and he blinked, shaking his head. “James? The fuck?” He closed his eyes for a moment, set his hands on the table, and then opened them again, looking at the new arrival. “You look must be his…” He trailed off. “I thought he said he didn’t have any family left. I guess that makes you the ‘dead uncle’, right?”

    “Actually, yes. Though not the way you think. John, it’s been a long time, and while I’m glad to see he has a friend, I wasn’t expecting you here tonight. This complicates things.” He reached out and picked up Duggan’s glass, raising it to his lips and finished the glass in a single gulp.

    Duggan frowned, his posture changing. He stood up and stepped out of the booth, standing a foot away from James’ ‘Dead Uncle’, examining his face. “The resemblance is strong. Since it was your bottle, I can hardly object to you taking a share. Though you could have just poured a fresh glass.” His stance had widened, his weight over the balls of his feet.

    “True, but this saved some time.” The older gentleman tossed the glass at Duggan, who caught it reflexively. His hands full, his reactions were slowed as the man brought both his hands together, clapping him hard in the head. “I’m sorry about this John, I hope you don’t land in the middle of next week.”

    His head fogged by the combination of the alcohol and the unexpected blow, he shifted into a defensive pose, as the man threw his full weight at him, shoving him through the doorway behind him. His sense of balance shifted and he felt himself falling backwards.

  • iCandy Thoughts

    This is my attempt at a review of iCandy, a party that is thrown on Friday nights at Club 8×6, by ScottyHotty half of the [adjective not found] Plur Duo, with his partner, Markus|edge. The Plur parties have been some of the better events that I’ve attended. I’ve also enjoyed the energy on the dance floor at Noir when Markus has been up on the decks.

    The events they throw have had a good energy, a good vibe, a good [word for a spiritual thing that is hard to put into words without sounding like a hippy] or something like that. I’m not sure how best to explain it, but I can recommend the event for someone who wants to explore their sexuality and boundaries more, in a low pressure and low judgement environment.

    I’ve been to three or four parties at Club 8×6 at this point. The Mad Hatter party and both of the iCandy parties. I think there was one other, but I don’t recall.

    For the most part, I’ve ended up in a comfortable corner, with the Neon Wand kit plugged in, doing electrical play demos and socializing with people. For who haven’t been educated on the various strange and wonderful toys out there, [here’s a crash course on the Violet Wands]. TL;DR, it’s a zappy fun electrical play toy.

    [Right, sorry, digression. Back to praising Plur. They put together an interesting event. I have not experienced any of the other events at Club 8×6, so it’s a bit hard for me to distinguish the aspects of the event that are unique to the event from those that are part of the venue. ]

    The best way to review iCandy is to give you the spiel I’d give to a friend who was curious about attending.

    iCandy takes place in a great venue, just off Denman, right behind True Confections, that great little dessert place. Being downtown, parking absolutely sucks. Anyways, you go into this little room, pay your fee through the glass window, they give you a padlock with a key and buzz the door open. Down a set of stairs, you enter into a locker room. Find a locker without a padlock on it, change into what you find comfy and sexy, or whatever you’re ready to wear, lock up your phone and valuables, and go exploring.

    The venue isn’t brightly lit, so it might take your eyes a bit to adjust. They’v set up a social area and a dance floor, and then across the ways, through a bit of a doorway, they’ve got a dungeon and a curtained off area. I’ve yet to explore past the curtained area, so I can’t talk about that. The dungeon area has plenty of equipment set up, with appropriate supervision. If it’s your first time, it might be a bit much for you. Then again, some people just want to leap in with both feet. One thing you’ll probably notice is that there are plenty of safety supplies around.

    Back in the social area, you’ll find a pile of Pink and Green cards on the table, with some markers nearby. These are for writing out a brief introduction about yourself. What handle or name you go by, your orientation, and some of your interests. Then you attach that card to your outfit, and you’ve got an instant icebreaker. I’ve been told that the Pink cards are for if you’re mostly looking to observe and the Green cards are for if you’re looking to actively get involved in play.

    You’ll find that the people are dressed in a variety of outfits and have a variety of body shapes and sizes. And the surprising part, nobody seems to have a problem with the body types they aren’t personally interested in. It’s a very body positive and sex positive night.

    Those are the basics. Beyond that, I think you might need to experience it for yourself to understand it.

  • Drunk man down 0.45

    Despite the allegations against Gorman, he and Duggan had remained friends. They weren’t as close since the school had been putting pressure on Duggan to provide evidence that Gorman had been involved in the disappearance. That had understandably strained things between them.

    It was a few days after Duggan’s birthday, and Gorman had invited him out for a drink. He’d skipped out on the party that Duggan’s staff had thrown for him the weekend before and felt a bit of regret about it. He’d known he shouldn’t attend, given how some of them felt about him.

    They had met in a dive bar, down in the bad part of town. It wasn’t the faux dive bar where hipsters hung out, it was a legitimate down on the luck sort of place. A place that hadn’t been bought up by the forces of Gentrification and Urban Renewal. Duggan had been surprised that they’d been given a booth in the back, and more surprised when James had reached down under the table and pulled out a bottle of decent scotch and set it on the table.

    “They let you bring in your own booze?”

    “We have an arrangement. I’m renting this booth.” He poured the scotch into a pair of glasses. “And a room in the back.”

    “Why the hell would you want to do that?” Duggan picked up his glass and sipped it, smiling as the liquid danced it’s way down his throat.

    “It was easier than changing bars all the time. It made sense. I made some deals and now I don’t need to worry. University ID won’t get in the door.” James chuckled. “Well, with the obvious exception of yourself.” He held out his glass to Duggan.

    “Seriously? What kind of cash are you paying for that kind of treatment.”

    “Less than you’d think. I wasn’t exactly accurate when I said I was renting the booth and the room in the back. It would be more accurate to say they’re the only part I’m not renting.” He gazed deeply into the glass and then tipped it back, swallowing it in one gulp.

    “You bought this place?”

    “Inherited, apparently. From my namesake uncle. Who I’d never heard of, before his lawyer showed up at my door. He left me this building, a collection of fine wines, and a shitload of money. And some really weird letters.” James poured the scotch into their glasses. “Including the letter that told me that we needed to drink this bottle tonight.”

    “We? I’m mentioned in these letters?”

    “No, actually quite the opposite. It says I should drink this bottle alone here tonight.”

    “Then why am I here?”

    “You really think I’m going to follow the instructions of a dead ‘Uncle’? I’m grateful, but I’d rather not drink alone.”