The Irresponsible Scientists League of Earth (ISLE) claimed responsibility today, sort of, for the horrific events of last week. They admitted that they installed the intelligence expansion devices in churches, mosques and synagogues around the world, but claim that the devices were intended to slowly increase the intelligence of attendees and not cause rapid cranial expansion. ISLE had expected depression and confusion, followed by enlightenment and an increased interest in science. Not the showers of blood and gore that accompanied the head explosions.

“Apparently one of the guys overclocked it for better performance, and the result was perfectly logical.”

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