MurderHobo.Club

Category: Real Life

  • Back turning!

    Not a bad day. Spent some time playing with Andryoid and bluestack, found it runs the pathfinder adventure card games decently. Then I had a thirty minute walk. Partway through I was asked if I wanted to do some gaming. Picked up my copy of don’t turn your back, a deck building game by the evil hat guys, in the insomnia fueled nightmare city setting that they created for don’t rest your head. It’s interesting, I enjoyed it, though the card draw engine is unsuited for my preferred strategy of card cycling. Hopefully tonight I’ll get a chance to play millennium blades. It’s a meta tcg board game.
    But first, another thirty minute walk.

  • Fiasco

    I’m thinking I’d like to play Fiasco. It’s an RPG-lite, with no GM, or an improv game with some dice and charts, depending on your perspective.

    Samples:

    Anyone interested in getting together for this? It would probably be on a weekend, though potentially on a weeknight with some preplanning.

  • Fitness tracking

    According to the tracker over at fit.google.com, I’ve gotten about 9 and a half hours of exercise in the last week. I’ve been making an effort to go for a walk during my lunch hour, on sunny days. I can get a good 3Km walk in, from Royal Oak Station to Edmonds station, then the train back to Royal Oak. that’s all I can manage over my lunch hour.

    After work, I’ve been heading home so I’m eating and taking the metforin at roughly the same time. I should be going for a walk after dinner, but I haven’t really been up for that for various reasons.

    Another alternative would be to get up a bit earlier and get some exercise before I shower for work. But I’m not sure how well that would work.

  • Relating to humanity.

    I’ve been writing for a while now, and while some point love my ability to take a conversation or an idea and turn it into something concise on the page, I lack the skill to do the opposite of that. I seem to lack the ability to write characters who have believable dialogue or believable motives. This may be related to social awkwardness that I’ve suffered from, or perhaps a yet to be diagnosed position on the autism spectrum. Some of the reading I’ve done lately suggests that I have a tendency to make mistakes that are common among those who are on that spectrum. There was an interesting post on reddit listing a dozen or so common mistakes that get made, mostly relating to matters of social conventions.

    Generally speaking, when someone asks me how I’m doing, I reply, “Not dead yet.”, referring both to the character getting thrown into the charnel wagon in Monty Python, and to the quote from Herodotus, “Call no man happy until he is dead.” In essence, I’m saying that I could give you a complicated answer, but I think you’re just asking to be polite, so I’ll give you something that sounds amusing, though the implication is that there is more there, if you want to know. Often, people don’t. They’re just asking because it’s how people interact. Sometimes, they do want to know, and then I try to explain it to them. I tend to have more woes than can easily be encapsulated though, so this tends to go flat rather quickly.

    When I was writing at Douglas, my classmates found my dialogue to be a bit too overthought, or overly intellectualized. At the time, the conversations that I was having that weren’t basically functional, tended to be of that nature, so it was hard for me to understand that complaint.

    I am trying to express my difficultly in natural communicating with others, both in my life and between my characters in my writing. I am acknowledging this, and I’m making a note to be more aware of it in the future.

    Also, apparently I shouldn’t end sentences with periods when texting, as that comes across as abrupt. And use more emoticons.

  • Fun with paresthesias

    The alcohol and late night triggered a serotonin drop, which resulted in SSRI withdrawal syndrome. That’s why I’ve nausea and dry mouth, to go with the previous heavy sweating I’d been experiencing.

    I’m currently suffering paresthesias, a strange tingling feeling down the sides of my face.

    My mood is good, overall. Aside from feeling sick to my stomach, I’m relaxed and somewhat hopeful.

  • After parties and aftermath.

    The final Noir was rather crowded. To the point of being uncomfortable. The end happened, so everyone and their mule needed to be there. There was a line down past the dessert shop. A friend of mine was in line for about two hours, waiting to get in.

    It was a proper send off, a proper end to a chapter. Reive worked his ass off tonight, keeping all the balls in the air, and hopefully he’ll enjoy his well deserved rest.

  • Anticipation of alienation

    Tomorrow is the last Noir, an event run by friends of mine. An event I’ve helped out with for a year or more at this point. It’ll be music and people, in a concrete bunker. Some aspects of it I’m sure I’ll enjoy, like spending time with friends and the music. On the other hand, it’ll be loud, and I’ll likely have the same feeling of not fitting in that I’ve had for ages now.

    Sure, I have a solid understanding of bdsm, kink, fetish, etc, but beyond mentoring, I haven’t engaged in any of it in ages. I have attended things, but not engaged in them. I’ve literally moved furniture more often than I’ve used it.

    That’s my contribution to the community, a community that I’m only vestigially a part of at this point.

    I’m sure there are reasons that I’ve failed to connect with anyone in recent years, not the least of which being my growing insecurity with toxic masculinity, something that causes me great discomfort and leads to me double thinking my flirting, to the point where it often doesn’t happen.

    I have internalized that the majority of people I meet will not be interested in me, for various reasons. Some of those reasons are perhaps a tad shallow, while others are written deeper into the soul; the validity of the reasons are not mine to question. I can merely accept them and avoid making people uncomfortable, by treating them as people, regardless of any possible interest in them, since the odds are good it won’t be mutual.

    None of this is really new material. I’ve said it all before. I’m cranky because my skill set goes to waste, because of all the various factors. A few appreciate my skills, mostly from a far. I’m cranky because I see individuals who are less qualified in a variety of ways leveraging other traits into chances that they appear to fail to appreciate. Or more significantly, that they fail to respect.

    Alas, sour grapes and further alienation. Further disconnected from a community that I have consistently attempted to be a part of.

  • Off my meds

    So, a few weeks back, I got a renewal of my prescription for cipralex. But I misplaced it. So I never bothered to refill it, and when I got down to a handful of pills left, I lowered my dosage, so I wouldn’t be going off them cold turkey. I believe I’m starting to feel the effects of no longer being on them, but its hard to be sure. My tolerance for incompetence, rudeness and general disrespect have gone down a fair bit. In theory, I should notice other emotional responses, but at the moment I haven’t really encountered them.

    I may take a few sick days to assist with finding my equilibrium, and I may need to find a new job, as I suspect I won’t have the fortitude to continue to ignore some of the things I’ve been ignoring for the past however long.

    I forget how long I’ve been on these for. Certainly long enough that there are people who only know who I as who I became after I began taking them. Those individuals may be surprised at who I’ll have become when I come out the other side on this one.

    I didn’t care enough to make the effort to find the paper to renew the prescription. That’s a surprisingly clear reason to get off them, in my opinion.

  • Shadowrun character building

    Well, we’ve got Fluffles the Troll, being built for Ian. We’ve got a black mage for Lori. Kylie has an elf killer, and Chris has a second story man.

    My character feels a little unfinished. I feel like I need to rebuild him. Right now, he’s a powerful mage, but it feels like he’s lacking motives.

  • FMV / QTV

    So, next time I have a lack of motivation to learn a new game, rather than looking on Netflix, we’ll put on Until Dawn or Contradiction or Her Story. Video driven games that work well with an audience.