So I’ve lost over 40 lbs in the last few months, since my doctor told me I was diabetic. My blood sugars have been stable with the daily metformin. I’ve been eating simpler meals and turning down sweets and extra meals. I’ve been getting in at least a twenty minute walk every day, plus usually another if I can. It’s been working, my body is in better shape.
My mind, I’m less clear on. I’ve been getting a little more sleep, I think. I’ve not had much time with friends recently. I’m still having issues with work. I’ve not been providing good customer service lately. We are short-handed and our order volume has increased. It doesn’t feel like I’m able to get everything done that needs to be done. And with the postal strike, things are probably going to get worse.
I’m feeling lonely, I’m still disconnected from people and I’m wondering if I’m over my ex. I don’t seem able to flirt or communicate romantically.
Back in an unpublished entry, I explained that I feel like my connections to people were like mooring lines. Solid and thick, but easily detached. They aren’t rooted in the same way. There are people in my life I’ll go out of my way for, but for the most part I assume things are asynchronous. Perhaps that’s just my perception, but I feel that I’m assumed to be fine, and therefore need not be a priority for anyone.
I’m writing this as I walk. It’s gotten dark and typing this while walking through the unlit forest is likely a bad idea. I had intended to take a walk earlier, but instead I spent an hour or so working on that free code camp thing. I managed to get through the basics and the HTML 5 / CSS section. It’s been twenty years since I learned it at that summer camp at BCIT, but I picked it up again fairly quickly. The next section will likely be harder, as it’s stuff I’m less familiar with. I’ve never really managed to learn any real languages. Then again, I seem to be at a point in my life where I’m committing to things and then following through.
I should probably be in bed by now, instead I’m down by Crab Town, blindly putting one foot in front of the other, vaguely listening to a podcast and putting my thoughts down here.
I don’t currently have anything that I’m specifically looking forward to. No shadowrun, no board game nights, no cons, no parties, no hardware releases, no games… nothing.
A vague goal of getting my weight down by twice what I’ve already lost. That’s about it.